Being that it was a clear, not-so-chilly, early February afternoon I went on a drive around the local park. I was quite aware of my motivation for going: I was looking for something. I was looking for something I knew I could not find there. Glancing at bare trees and a glassy pond littered with goose and duck feathers did next to nothing besides make me wish I had my camera with me. The beauty of nature is merely a creation which points unmistakably to what I was really searching for. Deep down I knew I would probably come away from the park with this conclusion; it was inevitable. But, as with many other things in life, I wanted to take the long way around. No simple, obedient shortcuts for me, of course not. Only by God’s grace am I ever really shown any truth, especially when I approach it with such an unmoving attitude.
There are things in life that people intensely search after only to learn in the end that they are unfindable (at least in that manner). Examples of such things are: peace, love, joy, contentment, purpose, identity, and more. Not matter how well you search for them you will always come up empty-handed. In fact, they usually appear when they are lost or most commonly, given. The truest forms of contentment, love, peace and others can only be found in God who is made accessible by His Son, Jesus Christ. In order for us to know our identity and purpose we must grow in the knowledge of Him, who created us (along with our purposes) in the first place. Experiencing love, peace, and joy will always be the outcome of resting in close communion with God. We cannot find Him (and all of the gifts He holds), rather He finds us.
Any other sensation, no matter how “close” it may come to the authentic thing, is still a fake. Going to the park, traveling abroad, mulling mentally over the dozens of ways life can turn out, and other things may bring you to a place where you think you have found peace, assurance, direction; but don’t be fooled. God orchestrates life in such a way that it cannot be described as anything other than a surprise. If you think you truly know yourself and your direction, think again.
This is what makes the future such a glorious adventure. It is to be thought a mystery, since it is just that.
So I here admit that my searching in anything other than God has been in vain (of course). And my feeble attempts to know my future have proved useless. Yes, I have known this, but this confession will hopefully hold me to my intention to relinquish control of this area of my life once again. May I not think my ways and thoughts above or even remotely close to being equal to His. Thank the Lord that He has been faithful to find me, though I was searching for all the wrong things.
“Seek the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. ‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” Isaiah 55:6-9
“…I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you: do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:9-10
